Mum’s the ward

Had our first visit to the maternity ward at the weekend, which, with several couples present, made you realise that there are others having children at the same time as I think you often feel as if you are the only people going through this.

Matthew Kelly with Tom Selleck

As we alcohol gelled our hands before entering through the double doors it occurred to Sarah and I thought that at some point soon we would be coming through those doors with our daughter, in fact it reminded me somewhat of the dry ice engulfed entrance of Stars in Their Eyes with Sarah waving like a mad woman and saying to Matthew Kelly, “Tonight Matthew I’m going to be in a lot of f*cking pain.”

The ward was quiet…almost too quiet, no it really was as no one was on there. We had a speedy tour of the low risk room, the ward and the birthing pool room, which included a deliver y stool where you basically ‘poop’ your baby out onto something that looked like a dog bowl!

The tour, with all of its devices on show, reminded me of the time we went round Alcatraz, minus the bars you understand. I don’t mean it was like a prison or anything but I think it was just the tour aspect with a large group of people.

I think Sarah, obviously the nurse coming out in her, was disappointed that there was no action to be seen, being Alcatraz-like I did suggest re-enacting scenes from The Rock with us as Nicholas Cage and Sean Connery, but she politely declined.

However we were told to start putting together a goody back for the pair of us for when we are there as tea and toast is about their limit, so even though we won’t be infiltrating the maternity ward with a crack team of Navy Seals like Cage and Connery, we’ll certainly have enough supplies to feed them!

Nic and Sean had clubbed together on a 'new baby' presentUpon departing there was the usual opportunity for questions, with one person asking where you parked if you were in a bit of hurry and not wanting to drive through barriers etc, although it would keep in tune with The Rock theme permeating this article. The answer was obvious…special deliveries of course!

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